The second hardest year of my life: A reflection on application season
I’m calling this the second hardest year of my life because I have only lived about 15 total years on this earth. Now, this may indeed be the peak of stress, anxiety, and the melting pot of kurfuffles that have gone past me these treacherous months, but alas I am always prepared for the future.
My name is Joe, I am Chinese, I hold a red and gold passport. I have resided in Beijing ever since I was born, I began to go to school in the US just about 3 years ago. This year, I was a part of the absolutely bonkers amount of students who applied to private high schools in the United States.
Some of my friends may describe me as a “workaholic”, which in most circumstances, I humbly accept. But I think that some of them would also mention my humility, which seems to be where some see my “old soul”.
To simplify things for readers, this will be a roughly chronological timeline of my experiences this application season. And below is a short summary of each point for those TL;DR people. There’s even a mood rating! 0/10 = Jesus Christ it's Jason Bourne, 10/10 = The first time I hiked up a mountain, AKA Awesome.
- Spring, 2022, was when I got slapped in the face about everything, from the SSAT to essays, to interviews. Mood — 5/10
- Summer, 2022, I grabbed my helmet and put on some shades, things are getting serious. Essay prep, working on 3D printers, the start of my Photography (Yes hobbies are important), but also family time and my mortal enemy, math. But I got through it, truthfully it was quite fun working through problems. Mood — 8/10
- Fall, 2022, Just got off a flight, timezone, and NH weather kurfuffles certainly messed me up well the first few weeks. But I got used to it. This was when the procrastination started, and it sure didn’t end there. Essays? Procrastinated. SSAT? Procrastinated. Everything that wasn’t necessary and important? YEAHHHH! But alas, I had to get that slap in the face again. Mood — 8/10
- Winter, 2022–23, Oh hey, this thing is real. Well, you better start getting used to it for the next few long months! I worked on my hobbies, I raced in Nordic, and I had to balance life as a friend, life as a student, life as a leader, and life as a captain in one boat on the rough seas of an NH winter. I think I faired quite well judging by how well my mother walked me through my emotions. The bleakness and coldness of winter certainly didn’t help, and adding to the pot with changes in the dorm, my experience wasn’t the “Procrastination station” anymore. I had that slap on the wrist and I sprinted. Mood — 4/10
- Spring, 2023, There's still snow. A lot of it… and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. Everything is done. I don’t have to sit in more SSAT classrooms, I don’t have to explain why I am one of the last people on campus still taking the test. I don’t have to worry anymore, what's going to happen will happen and I will accept it humbly. March 10th knocks, and it wants you to know that it isn’t giving you car insurance, but acceptance letters. I got into a really nice place, it was surprising, but I took it. Neato! It’s finally done. Mood — 11/10 — Freakin’ Amazeballs
TL;DR done. Ok, even the “Too long didn’t read” was too long.
I want to get into the deep innards of this conundrum, but I want to start it off with some insightful comments.
- Over the past 2 years, I have seen my family on two breaks. Summer vacation, and this spring break. I have missed Chinese New Year, I have missed, and literally did not know, that my Dad opened a furniture store.
- I started Photography because I was told I was, in essence, too academic. Although 3D printing and my various interaction with that community helped me find and forge my own path and relieve stress, that was thrown out the window. But I really love Photography now, oh how the turns have tabled.
I hope reading these invoked some intriguing thoughts among viewers. To me, these do not mean much. However, when I took a deep breath and “flew” to that bird's eye viewpoint, I could not stop but think that my journey may not have been the more straightforward and blunt road I thought it went over. Instead, there are certainly many other factors involved that allowed my balance between school, hobbies, stress relief, free time, and family to exist in the first place.
Throughout this experience, the first thing I’ve realized I learned is that I don’t like to brag. Or, from a more personal standpoint, I have humility. I’ve always been told I have an old soul, or I have a mature sense of the world, but I’ve always generally avoided those terms as I feel they simply make me a product of the past. However, I suppose my love of old things and my passion for having a nice conversation with people much my age may identify me as that, which if one profiles me into, I accept.
As a student of this century, and in many ways a digital native, we should always be humbly accepting of who we are. Throughout the application process, I have constantly thought about my nationality, how that could make it more difficult, what I went through to get here, and really, who I am. I came to the conclusion that no matter who I am, no matter what I do, and no matter where I am from, I am myself, and I certainly should be myself. I think this freed me a little from the shackles of need versus want.
I am 15 years old, for all my 15 years I have wondered, who am I viewed as? Before revealing this age discrepancy, many on 3D printing forums could only guess at the age and maturity of myself, and was throughly surprised and inviting that I was of such age. I think we all know what a teenage boy is like, and how hard it is to work within their limits and their own housing development inside their brains, I’ve always tried to work around that, expanding as my mind will on its own. I try to accept, repent and be humble towards new ideas and challenges. I think I learned more about this side of me during this admittedly hard application season, which I am quite happy about, as it makes me feel accomplished that I’ve found more than just another place to study but another place to continue to explore my personality and what makes me special.
Anger! Being able to manage anger made my life a lot better and easier. One of the key takeaways from my application season is that I now know what angers me and how it angers me. What angers me is narrow-mindedness, or a general not caring attitude towards school or anything. As I mentioned before (a long way up I've written a lot, I know), I am a “workaholic” which means that I dive into something a lot deeper and try to understand it and this is what makes me happy or content. This occasionally makes me incompatible with people who lock things out to become content and happy. Realizing this, and being a dorm leader, I’ve tried to rectify this part of me more and become more open to others. I think that stress always needs an outlet, and explaining my personal stress and anxiety at the tail end of my application process, I would say it was a combination of the weather (Not being able to take photos, major stress relief), my own personality as mentioned, and the looming realization that this is the last term I will be here and I wanted to treasure this time. Being raised in an urban environment, I’ve always loved nature and my time in NH has been dearly put into nature for not only stress relief but also personal exploration. Part of which, certainly after being taken away by my own inability to do so, caused some of this pent-up stress and confusion.
To any student, these reflections are important to knowing who you are and knowing how to improve yourself. You don’t always have to do so, reaching for the top of everything isn’t what we’re meant to do. Our best varies day by day, and I don’t think we should let numbers worry us or let ourselves down due to anger caused by, admittedly, issues only we worry about.
Recognizing and realizing the potential behind these comments and this process, journey almost, is one of the most important steps I have ever taken in my life, and I now cherish my final time in NH as I continue on my journey forward.
Thank you for reading this,
Joe
